RR.NET Forums

[Cel]

((Okay, Dragon, Pyro and I were talking about this. We're making a comedic RP. The sole point of this RP is to be funny. We will be ripping into each other a bit from time to time, but it's all in fun. If anyone wants to join, by all means: Come! Be funny! P, D, and I have a plot for the first like....7 seconds. But, after that; nothing.

So! Come on people, let's go! We're making funny-funny here. The only rules are that everyone starts out with no powers. PM me if ya have any questions about anything.))

"Hello ladies and gentlemen, my name is Cal Hunter, and uhh...I was actually driving here today, and this guy behind me--you know the type. He's passing everyone, left and right, he's swirving all over the road, he comes up on me at like 80 mph. So, I do one of these, I speed up so he can't pass me--like I'm gonna let this jerk go, right? And...he gets me in trouble.

Yeah, apparently--get a load of this--you're supposed to pull over for the big red trucks with the ladders... Those jerks put on their sirens and they think their kings of the road."

My stand-up set went well that night. And, when I got off the show, my two friends were there to greet me at the table.

"Good set, sir. It coulda been because of the two drink minimum, but it's all good," Dragon said as I sat down.

"Yeah, tonight's packed! And everyone is just happy to be here. Ask Tony if you can do, like, five to ten minutes in the ten-thirty show, he says it'll be the same as this one."

"Yeah," Pyro said, "I may do that too, I dunno. But, it would really, really suck, if after the ten-thirty show, the Headless Horseman came to life again."

"Silly Pyro," I said, and Dragon laughed and shook his head, "even if, in some highly improbable situation where that did happen, it would wait until after the ten-thirty show, and perhaps, until we had a bigger party."

"True," Dragon concurred, "the more people with us, the more people he'd kill."

[Dragon]

Tony approved me goin up on stage for the opening slot on the 10:30 show.

"And now, introducing a guy who hopes you think he's as funny as he thinks he is, give it up for... DRAGON!!!"

I did my set and finished off with a joke that i held near and dear to my heart.

"I was talkin to one of my friends on the phone and she had just made a couple of cd's for me and wanted to write something on them. And i can hear her in the background, talkin to herself, sayin 'where's the marker, where's the marker? ya know sometimes i like to sniff the marker it smells gooooood.'

So i go, 'Oh yeah, like that doesn't kill about a thousand brain cells per sniff'

And she goes 'Eh, who needs 'em?'

So just to mock her i go *makes loud sniffing noise into the microphone* Ahhhhh... there goes third grade.

*makes second loud sniffing noise into the microphone... pauses then gets frantic look on face* OH MY GOD!!! WHAT'S MY NAME?!?!?!?!"

"I'm Dragon, and that's my time, thank you."


I sat back down at the table with my two buddies, Cal and Pyro.

"That was.... 3 minutes of good stuff, but you definitely need to work on the 2 minutes that only got some school girl giggles." Cal said.

"Yeah, i know. They're new so i figured i'd just try 'em out tonight."

"It wasn't that bad." Pyro said as a ball rolled over and hit my leg. I leaned over to pick it up and came face to face with a severed head. It's eyes were still open and staring at me. There was no blood coming out of the neck because it was singed closed.

"Holy shit, that's Jhonny Michaels." Cal said. "The MC."

"Pryo, Cal, and I looked up to the door way and saw the Healess horseman stumbling towards us.

"Wait... he's... stumbling..." i said watching the horesman's sporadic movements.

"The bastard's drunk off his ass." Pyro laughed and the horesman sat down at our table and reached his arm around Cal's shoulders.

"Dude, this is fucked up." I said lookin over to Pyro.

[Cel]

I whispered frantically, "...What do I do? He looks trashed."

"How can you tell? The man's got no face," Pyro, very astutely, pointed out.

"How bout ya don't piss him off," I begged Pyro to shut up, "We don't know if he's an angry drunk yet."

Dragon held up the MC's head, "No...I'm pretty sure I've got an idea."

The horseman got tired of leaning on me, and took out his sword, ready for some good decapitation, "WAIT!" I yelled, and he stopped. Wow, I was pretty sure that was going to be my last word. I didn't have anything else prepared. Time to improvise.

"Okay, we're all people here. Or, were at one time. Look, we all know what's inevitable. You, taking our heads, to please some sick fanatsy." At this, the horseman shrugged and lowered his sword, "All I'm saying is, let me buy you a drink first, make it worth your while."

Pyro asked, "...How'd he get drunk...with no mouth?"

We all turned to the horseman. Apparently, he was not Italian, and couldn't talk with his hands, so Dragon handed him a napkin and a pen. He scribbled down,

"You wanna know so much I can cut your head off..."

"Suddenly, I show no interest," Pyro feigned.

The horseman scribbled something else that he gave to Dragon, and Dragon threw it in a crumpled ball, on the floor.

I picked it up, "The marker bit was hack."

[Dragon]

Cal laughed and showed the napkin to Pyro and i sat there with a smug look on my face trying to remember how they killed the horseman from the movie with Johnny Depp in it. Mumbling curses to myself and the horseman picked up another napkin and pen.

"How the hell do you know what's hack and what isn't, bastard." i addressed the horseman.

He stood up and withdrew his sword and pyro and cal jumped up to grab him by the shoulders and pulled him back to his seat.

"DRAGON!... Let's NOT insult the un-killable horseman that has a thing for decapitation." Pyro said.

"Yeah... the horseman is just too nice and cool." Cal said loosening his collar and wiping a bead of sweat from his forehead.

The horseman grabbed his pen and started writing something on the napkin and handed it to me again. I took it reluctantly but when i looked, i grinned broadly.

Pyro and Cal begged to see it so, stifling a laugh, i showed it to Pyro. Then Cal pulled it out of Pyro's hands.

The napkin that was originally addressed to me read: And your friend, Cal, needs acting lessons.

"Fuck..." he said pointing at the horseman but then turned and pointed at me "you, Dragon."

[Pyro]

"Dude, this is so fucked up." Pyro laughed looking to his companions, then to the horseman who held his hand up to a waitress. She walked over as if he WASN'T the headless horseman, and instantly placed a large bottle in front of him. "You drink Mike's Hard Lemonade?" Pyro laughed. "Wuss."

His hand slipped down to his sword as a new MC made his way onto the stage, there by standing tall and looking to the half dead crowd.

"It seems our MC has come down with a bad case of decapitation, we'll have to get a new one, but welcoming our next comic, Mr. Synge Tyberius!" Pyro scrambled up to the stage not realizing that his time had come, before he ripped the microphone from the hands of the MC.

My set had been going very smoothly actually, laughs here and there, a few applause breaks.

"In Lazer tag! I kicked it up a notch. No, I played with MYSELF. Cause who knows me better than me?" Pyro ducked acting as if his right hand were a gun and continued to hold the microphone with his left one. "He'll never see me comming." Quickly Pyro dove into the air, swinging his legs fowards and convulsing violently on the floor to the sound of applause before he stood back up and took a step fowards.

"We all have goals, big, small, little goals, you know. My goal is to joust in a shopping cart, and get banned from Walmart. Or run up to somebody, and slap them in the face... With fiberglass."

Pyro left saying his goodbyes and walked back down to the table where the Horseman leaned over the table jabbing his finger at Dragon.

"Oh what the fuck did you do now you dick?" Pyro yelled. "I go away for five minutes and you piss off the one man who wants to kill everybody in the fucking club?!"

"He wrote somethings." Cal said, eyeing the napkins. Pyro quickly reached over and lifted up a napkin, bursting out laughing instantly.

"It's not funny." Dragon growled, his arms crossed across his chest.

"He called your Mom a hamster! It doesn't get much funnier than that!"

[Pyro]

Ignore the next few, God damn internet freaked

[Pyro]

Ignore the next few, God damn internet freaked

[Pyro]

Ignore the next few, God damn internet freaked