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[Asis]

Neon Genesis Evangelion1.1:

In the beginning, there was nothing. Nothing interesting at least.
And then, someone though it'd be a good idea to mix mentos with diet coke. Hilarity ensues.
In that huge explosion stars, planets and galaxies were quickly created. Ginger looked down from the skies and said '0.005 microseconds! That's a new personal record!'
But, eons after, Ginger became bored. She suddenly decided to create living beings.
By moving a finger up and down, she populated our earth with humans. Intelligent and adaptational, they prospered quickly, without any knowledge of the god that created them.
After a century or so, they created an utopian civilization that used technology far more advanced than ours. Without warning, Ginger changed his name to Baionette and decided to kill everyone for the lulz. A sudden acid rain began to exterminate women, children and every living being on the planet. Hilarity ensues (again)

Ginger Baionette became addicted to myspace and ignored Earth for another billion years. Then, suddenly, the great God Gopher , Baionette's son, appeared (How? Why asexual reproduction, of course)
He noticed the former-prosperous cities of Earth and decided to give it a second shot. After re-populating it, Gopher decided that, unlike his mother, he didn't needed nor wanted any kind of worship. Thus, he made up a story about Adam, Eve, a magical tree and a talking snake which, strangely enough, everyone bought.
Earth was prosperous one more time.
In the meantime, Baionette changed her name to Jennifer. No one cared enough to remember her ever-changing name, so she was called 'God' from then on.

Gopher saw that, without guidance, Humans were destroying their planet. So, he send his wife, Bang (who, by the way, appeared by spontaneous combustion) to guide them as a demigod and a prophet. And, eventually, prepare them for his second coming (actually, his first, but second sounds cooler)

----------------

And now she's among us!

Repent! Repent, everyone! For Gopher shall come down form the skies to pass judgement and merciless slaughter among all!
If you want to be saved, join us! I don't promise you survival, but a quick and relatively painless death!

1-800-Gophernovich*
Call now and you'll receive a Gopher(r) animated figure!**


*Available only on March, Tuesdays and Thursdays from 2 am to 3 am eastern standard time.
**This may be lie

[Ginger]

wow.




*claps*


You all love me! n_n

[James Sunderland]

Asis wrote: Ginger changed his name to Baionette and decided to kill everyone for the lulz. A sudden acid rain began to exterminate women, children and every living being on the planet. Hilarity ensues (again)

Awesome...! 8)

[Gopher]

Amen.

[Pyro]

That's just fuckin' ridiculous, yet strangely awesome

[Gopher]

Asis wrote: 1-800-Gophernovich*
Call now and you'll receive a Gopher(r) animated figure!**



:eng101:

[Asis]

[Gopher]

THE FUN NEVER ENDS!

[Bang]

Gopher Plushie FTW~!

[Pirate Babe]

That's soo adorable :3